dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize