My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
