I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
