capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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