is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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