you're like a bully in the Christmas story
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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