My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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