He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
