If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
