Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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