Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
