I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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