i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
