she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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