Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
