it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
