New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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