Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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