just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
