He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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