I don't think brook has ever known best
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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