i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
