Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
