im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
