You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
