were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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