i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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