I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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