If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
