I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize