Betty ford says i'm here all night
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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