Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
