Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
