# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
