he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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