if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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