Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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