His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize