I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Send help, water and tortillas.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
