we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
