Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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