Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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