Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
