Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
