I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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