Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize