This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
