I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
