im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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