Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
