I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
