Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
