Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you never un-have a 4some
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
