I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
